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. . . dear cauliflower . . . i hate you

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Dear Cauliflower,

I detest you.  I hate how white you are, and how you pretend to be like broccoli (not even remotely close).  I really hate how you smell after being cooked/ steamed …ewww!

Therefore, we are Done!  I’ve tried so hard to make this relationship work: raw, steamy, and even creamy … but, No.  You’re not for me.  You’re simply not my type.  In fact, I Hate You.  There’s no use pretending anymore.  I don’t play games.

No, it’s not me … it’s really, absolutely, undeniably … You.

Yours Nevermore,

Julie

**And just for your reading pleasure, some comments from my fb post of this same letter are here below, and to answer your question in advance: Yes, this is how I spend my time, lol:

Friend-1: Have you tried it fried?

Me:  No, not at all. I haven’t tried fried, but what’s the point? I’ve been disappointed too many times to keep trying …and for what? to mask the unalienable truth? No, we’re done, I tell you! lol

F-2:  Pizza is better in bed.  {Too True, friend!}

F-3:  Well, as a cauliflower lover, i will not hold your hatred of one my favorite veggies against you. :=) {Thank you}

F-4:  Awe…I love cauliflower! Steamed…boiled, roasted. My Dad used to always say cauliflower was his favorite flower?

Me:  Look guys, I REALLY, REALLY tried to make it work…I promise!! It just ain’t happening for us anymore… I even tried counseling with other cauliflower lovers…and their suggestions worked for awhile (at parties anyway, when cauliflower was hanging out w his buddies in the veggie tray)…but, I finally realized that not everyone is cut out for cauliflower… like me …at least not in this phase of my life. I’m not against some sort of reconciliation attempt in the future, but cauliflower’s gonna have to work real hard to make that even a remote possibility…that’s just how bad it is between us right now. It’s ok, I will still love you guys too even if you stay friends w cauliflower!

F-5:  My family has made the same declaration! They get so mad when I try the old cauliflower switcheroo… I am done too!

F-4:  Don’t worry Julie…more for me! I am one of those people who love Brussels sprouts too ( my husband hates when he sees me cooking them).

F-6:  Oh man, I love me some cauliflower. Maybe your spurned veggies will come to my house, where they’ll be loved and appreciated lol!

F-7:  F-4 and I take after our Dad…he always said Cauliflower was his favorite flower. I love cauliflower with cheddar cheese melted on top, or raw with thousand isle dressing : )

Me:  F-7, (good memories!!) I’m probably doing something wrong, but I have not had a cauliflower that I thought, “Hmm, that was good!”  Never have, lol.   I basically ate mac and cheese and corn for dinner every night as a child and am now retraining my taste buds with real food (my mom tried, but I was stubborn and picky).  I really LOVE lots of veggies now, but cauliflower is NOT one of them!

Dear Hubby:  Is this in any way directed towards me?

Me:  No worries hun, I have broken off all ties with my would be paramour, Cauliflower… it didn’t work out…you should be elated! 😉

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. . .My diatribe against TIME. . .

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Open Letters.  I  L O V E  them!  Although, until today, I had no idea they had an actual term.  Open Letters, are the ones you see on facebook or other places where a person addresses someone or something, by writing them a public “letter.”

If you’re like I was earlier today, and still don’t know what an open letter is, here is a short example:

Dear Sleep,

Where have you been?  I have been looking for you everywhere, and still have no hope of finding you!  I NEED you to come over…like, right NOW.

Sleepless without you,

Julie

Or, really anything to that effect.  So, to my great amusement, today’s Daily Post Challenge, found at : http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/13/open-letter/ is to write an open letter.

I have actually already posted two open letters on this page, both of them, ironically or not, have been to my mother in law, lol …  and can be found here and here.

And, I find this topic so much fun, I think I am going to create a whole separate category just for open letters!

Anyway, today’s open letter will be addressed to TIME.  Yes, TIME.  We have a few bones to pick 😉

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Dear Time,

Here we are at yet another Tuesday evening, because the World keeps turning, and you NEVER stop . . . not even for a second (Well, there was that one time, but that is another topic, for another day).  And for this and many other reasons, I believe you FAIL, at times (no pun intended).

In fact, you fail at many things, and I’m not the only one who thinks so, or who blames you and finds you inadequate.

Sometimes though, I agree, you may be unjustly accused.  For instance, the phrase, “bad timing,” is such a nifty way to blame our own inability to change and/or our inability to adapt to an uncertain situation or alarming surprise, on you; and that I think is a bit unfair.  And yet, I still find it quite convenient to blame you in times like these.

Now, while you may be unjustly accused in this ONE case, there are many a times when you work against me . . . ahem, US . . . Like when we are right in the middle of a wonderful dream, and YOU decide to wake us up.  So. Not. Cool.

Or, when we are young and carefree, and enjoying every minute of being with nature or our friends, but then YOU tell is it is “time” to leave, seemingly at the most inopportune moments.

But, the ABSOLUTE most unfortunate crime I accuse you of, is that of stealing it away from my children.

The sun comes up and then it goes down on another day — thus, you are rightly accused of passing by us too quickly.

Sometimes, though, it feels as if we are trapped by you- doing only what is necessary for survival, and obtaining the -things- that we deem important, which are in fact, meaningless.

All in all, Time, you may be unjustly accused for lackings of our own, but you definitely FAIL in the important areas.

For this, I’m asking you to consider changing your routine a bit.

Linger a while longer when we are  e n j o y i n g  life, and all it has to offer; and please feel free to speed up a bit in our moments of despair.

This is all.

Julie

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