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. . . hygiene?! Bah!! . . .

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Chats with Miles

*Author’s Note:  “Chats with Miles” is a series of posts I’m sharing, in order to capture the funny and interesting things Miles and my girls have said over the past couple of years (which I had originally recorded as Facebook posts, mostly), into this neat little nook for them to be able to look back on.

 

Have you ever wondered if your child knew the significance of good hygiene?  Have you ever thought that maybe their habits and ability to remain clean could be improved?  I mean, despite constantly telling them to wash their hands, brush their teeth, and make sure their hair gets clean (or at least wet) in their baths, do you ever actually feel confident that your child is able to get themselves clean without your supervision and/or help?

Well, I’m here to tell you, you’re NOT ALONE!!  I think I speak for most of us (well, most of us slacker parents, anyway), when I say that we are actually HAPPY when one of the following gets done:

 

  • My child uses actual soap to wash their hands.
  • My child brushes their teeth for longer than 4 seconds.
  • My child opts to take a bath without being prompted.

 

You see, when these things happen in my home, I am genuinely pleased!  It wasn’t always so though . . . I used to have much higher standards.  I used to think that my children’s hygiene should mirror my own . . . why I wanted to delude myself into thinking that I could have myself and three children all impeccably clean at any one point in this life together, I don’t know, but I used to think it was possible.  And it was during one of these days of naivety that the following conversation ensued.

This is taken from February 25, 2013 . . .

Me: (to one of my girls)  Go get in the bath.

*Girl Child:  Why??

Me:  Because you missed it yesterday . . .

*Girl Child:  (sighs)  Mom, I’m not a princess . . . I don’t have to take a bath  E V E R Y D A Y !!

(*note: some names have been changed in the account above to protect the identities of those involved.)

 

It was around this time that I realized something had to change, or I was going to go bloody mad!  So, it was then that my standards started to decline.  Since, I had wrongfully believed my children should not only be clean everyday, but also want to be clean, it is somewhat understandable why I was dismayed to find that one of my children thought bathing everyday should be relegated to the super elite . . . Royalty, even.

This was a SHOCKING revelation that I never knew I had coming.

So, I had to throw the baby out with the bathwater, when it came to my prudish views of hygiene (ya know, just bathing . . . or at least getting wet and sitting in a tepid bath for 20 minutes . . . daily).  Those days are gone, and I have regained my sanity.

Nowadays, I’m much more realistic in my expectations.  Proper Baths are only necessary in a very few select situations, which I have outlined below:

  • Prior to church (at least twice per month…every Sunday would just be too much to ask).

  • Definitely before attending any Major Holiday Get Together.

  • Before taking family pictures.

  • After playing in the mud.

Other than these, I’m pretty lenient when it comes to their hygiene.  Now, this method is not for everyone.  This method has admittedly left my children without as many hugs and affection at the end of the day.  I have a stronger than average sense of smell, after all, and I can’t be expected to drop my standards in every situation.  So, if my kids want hugs and kisses, they know they have to be at least somewhat clean.

http://images.travelpod.com/tw_slides/ta00/a8c/796/no-holding-hands-mamer.jpg

Neither will I hold their hands in public after the use of public restrooms, even at the risk of them running into the street, because I will not be tainted by their un-hygienic ways.  I just can’t do it.  So, you see it is possible to lower your expectations and still maintain a formidable sense of hygiene yourself, as a respectable member of society, by simply distancing yourself from those individuals you have spawned whose hygienic behaviors are mostly primitive, at best.

Ok, Fine . . . Not everything in this post is entirely true.

 

But, I will be leaving you to guess which parts are true and which are not . . . that keeps the fun going.  I will say, though, that I do in fact hug and kiss my children regardless of how thick a layer of dirt is on their faces, so they don’t really go wanting for affection . . .  I DO  love them more than being clean.  I have to remind myself of that often, not so often now that they are getting older, but a WHOLE LOT when they were little . . . LOL!

Anyway, if you have some little ones that are not as interested in being hygienic, not to fear . . . they will grow out of it (or so, I hope).  In the meantime, we get to practice our level of tolerance.

 

*Peace Out Y’all*

~ Julie ~

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TOOTHPASTE Juice

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TOOTHPASTE   Juice!

Chats with Miles

This is taken from February 18, 2013 . . .

One night, while I was trying to get organized for the week ahead, by searching online for meal plans, etc.  Miles walks in.  He came to announce that he had made: “Toothpaste Juice!

Hearing this exclamation, and then seeing the toxic blue water bottle he was sipping from, I started breathing heavy (possibly interpreted as: breathing fire with smoke coming out of my nose).  You see, earlier that day, Miles had decided to paint the bathtub, in order “to make it look pretty!”  So, I was the unwilling participant in “One of those kind of days.”

At this point, my frustration must have been very obvious.  Glaring, even.  I was literally to the point of tears.  Sensing my increased frustration with him, Miles offered me this little tidbit, in his usual no-ruffles, simple, yet direct kind of way:

Miles:  Mommy, sometimes I’m going to make things that don’t make you happy . . . But, I just need to make my things, and be who I’m gonna be . . .

Of course, after hearing this come from my then 4 year old’s mouth, my jaw dropped just a tiny bit.  I suddenly realized that in many ways, he was right.  I will not always get to choose what he does, or even who he becomes.  I can guide him, and teach him, correct, and love him, but ultimately he will have to find his own way in life.  My face softened into a slight smile, as the one tear which formed of my earlier frustration slowly slid down the side of my cheek.

Feeling frustration and having an epiphany brought on by the logic of a 4 year old, is a weird sensation, indeed.  You should try it sometime 😉

Now, the fact that he had figured this out by the time he was 4, neither surprised nor comforted me.  In fact, I’m a little scared for what’s to come!! Just Kidding, I’m excited, and thrilled!  LOL!!

Aren’t kids awesome for teaching us things we would never have learned otherwise?  Or, even for just the way they can open our eyes?

So, what things have you heard or learned “out of the mouth of babes” that has inspired you?

** Peace Out Y’all**

~ Julie ~

Oh . . . He’s Just Looking

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Chats with Miles

Over the course of Miles’ short life, he has asked many silly questions.  He has asked many funny questions.  He has asked many intelligent questions.  But, He has also asked some very profound questions, which oftentimes leave my with no “correct” answer, and leave me wondering what it is I actually do know.  The following chat would fall into both the profound and funny categories at the same time . . .  Enjoy!

From Feb. 16, 2013

Miles:  Mommy, is God in the sky?

Me:  Miles . . . even though we can’t see Him, God is Everywhere!

Miles:  Well, is God at the store?

Me:  Uh, yes, God is even at the store . . .

Miles:  (confused looking)   So . . .  He’s buying stuff??

Me:  No.  Um,  I don’t think He’s buying stuff . . .

Miles:  (kind of resolved)  Oh . . . He’s just looking then?.

Lol . . . Do you see what I mean??

a “marry” Christmas

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Chats with Miles

Ok, I hesitated to add these next two Chats with Miles, because  we are all well over Christmas by now!  However, if I am going to go in order of chats received, I need to add these now. 🙂  So, here they are:

This one from  November 29, 2012:

Miles:  (while hugging me) I’m gonna marry you!!
Me:  You’re gonna marry Me?!
Miles:  Yes!!
Me:  Why?!
Miles:  Because, I want to have a “Marry” Christmas!!

And this one from December 18, 2012:

Miles:  Santa is my Best Friend!!  But, there are lots of Santas…

Me:  Really?  How did ya figure that out?

Miles:  (very matter O’ factly)  Oh, I saw it on Facebook.

This kid.

haters gonna hate

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For Miles’ 4th Birthday last year, he said he wanted an M&M cake.  Well, since I have not given into the craze of Pinterest, mostly because I KNOW I would get ADDICTED to it,  I decided that it would probably be a lot less stressful for me and a lot more fun for Miles and his daddy to make it themselves . . . together.

Here is what they came up with, it wasn’t exactly the Pinterest cake above, but  I was pretty impressed with what a little can-do attitude and self-motivation can do, I mean they did their best, and that’s all I asked for:

https://i0.wp.com/farm5.staticflickr.com/4072/4520688348_502313e7e5.jpg

Oh, it was beautiful!!  What??  You don’t believe me?  I’m serious.  My husband is pretty crafty, and He and Miles made the cake, that I had imagined and also added these lovely adornments to the table to add to the picturesque quality I was really going for!

Ok, and just so you know, I CAN see that smug little look on your face, AND  hear your smirking!!  What?!  Do you think I would lie about something like this?  Something so unimportant as a birthday cake design?  Really??  I mean, how immature can ya get?

Wait . . . W H A T  did you just say??  Did you just have the audacity to remind me of my New Years resolution to “Keep it Real” this year?

W O W.  Just wow.  Haters, gonna hate!!

A N Y W A Y S . . .

I guess, I will still let you in on the chat they had, even in spite of your Smug, Hateful, and Jealous thoughts about how our cake came out.  Sheesh!

So, before the party, there were some leftover M&M’s they put in a container (and No, that is not a tell-tale sign, you CAN have leftovers, even when building furniture . . . stop it!).  Now, Justin had told Miles not to play with the container, but alas the boy did not listen, and he spilled them all over the floor 😦

Justin was obviously upset, and scolded him as was right, and here was what followed:

Miles:  I’m sorry for making the mess daddy!!

Justin:  I’m not upset about the mess Miles, but that you didn’t listen.  (such a good daddy)

Miles:  I’m sorry for dat too . . .

Miles:  . . . and I’m also sorry for burping . . .

Miles:  . . . AND farting too!

Lol…Now, you’re probably wondering what my husband said to get him to appologize for ALL that, am I right?? 🙂 I’m actually wondering too now … whatever it was, I think we can all agree that is was effective! Okay.  Ooookaaayyy. Fine.  So, that wasn’t actually the cake they made.  Thanks for the guilt trip!

Here is the cake they really made:

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. . . Keep scrolling . . .

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Screen Shot 2015-02-22 at 1.48.09 PM

Now, some might consider this a Pinterest – Fail, and if I’m being honest, it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, or what I wanted to serve to guests last year at his party.

B U T, it was DELICIOUS, for realz!  AND, they had a great time making it, and it was THEIRS!  In retrospect, I’m so glad I didn’t micromanage this one!

So, now that I shared the truth with you, tell me, have you designed any Pinterest-Fail worthy Projects?

when our truck grows up

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Chats with Miles

Miles:  Mommy . . . I want our truck to GROW UP to be a Monster Truck!!

Yes, he is ALL boy!  Hey, a boy can dream, can’t he? 😉

(Entry from December 12, 2012)

Mustard Sammich

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Chats with Miles

If you have been following my “Chats with Miles” posts, you know I am trying to get all of the funny things he and my girls have said (that I recorded via Facebook posts, mostly) over the past couple of years, into a neat little nook for them to be able to look back on.

So, the following is not really a “Chat with Miles,” but a “situation with Miles,” that I posted on December 7, 2012 (He was 3 at the time):

Why does my child want a “Mustard Sammich?”  Yeah, ya know that sandwich which has nothing on it, but MUSTARD?  My thoughts on the situation? Eeeewwww!!  And furthermore,  WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  did I give it to him on more than one occasion, yep including 5 minutes ago, after I swore the last time I would never do that again?

Other than the fact that I reasoned, mustard is supposed to be healthy, and it probably is better than buttered toast (health wise). . . I’m probably in line for one of those Worst-Mom-of-the-Year awards…eh?!  LOL

UPDATE:  Since then, he did have a few more mustard sandwiches, but that trend started to taper off a bit early last year, and now he just wants mustard on his sandwich, like a normal person! lol 😉

Have you or your kids had any strange requests in the kitchen?  I would love to hear ’em!!  Chime in below!

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