. . . dear cauliflower . . . i hate you

Dear Cauliflower,

I detest you.  I hate how white you are, and how you pretend to be like broccoli (not even remotely close).  I really hate how you smell after being cooked/ steamed …ewww!

Therefore, we are Done!  I’ve tried so hard to make this relationship work: raw, steamy, and even creamy … but, No.  You’re not for me.  You’re simply not my type.  In fact, I Hate You.  There’s no use pretending anymore.  I don’t play games.

No, it’s not me … it’s really, absolutely, undeniably … You.

Yours Nevermore,

Julie

**And just for your reading pleasure, some comments from my fb post of this same letter are here below, and to answer your question in advance: Yes, this is how I spend my time, lol:

Friend-1: Have you tried it fried?

Me:  No, not at all. I haven’t tried fried, but what’s the point? I’ve been disappointed too many times to keep trying …and for what? to mask the unalienable truth? No, we’re done, I tell you! lol

F-2:  Pizza is better in bed.  {Too True, friend!}

F-3:  Well, as a cauliflower lover, i will not hold your hatred of one my favorite veggies against you. :=) {Thank you}

F-4:  Awe…I love cauliflower! Steamed…boiled, roasted. My Dad used to always say cauliflower was his favorite flower?

Me:  Look guys, I REALLY, REALLY tried to make it work…I promise!! It just ain’t happening for us anymore… I even tried counseling with other cauliflower lovers…and their suggestions worked for awhile (at parties anyway, when cauliflower was hanging out w his buddies in the veggie tray)…but, I finally realized that not everyone is cut out for cauliflower… like me …at least not in this phase of my life. I’m not against some sort of reconciliation attempt in the future, but cauliflower’s gonna have to work real hard to make that even a remote possibility…that’s just how bad it is between us right now. It’s ok, I will still love you guys too even if you stay friends w cauliflower!

F-5:  My family has made the same declaration! They get so mad when I try the old cauliflower switcheroo… I am done too!

F-4:  Don’t worry Julie…more for me! I am one of those people who love Brussels sprouts too ( my husband hates when he sees me cooking them).

F-6:  Oh man, I love me some cauliflower. Maybe your spurned veggies will come to my house, where they’ll be loved and appreciated lol!

F-7:  F-4 and I take after our Dad…he always said Cauliflower was his favorite flower. I love cauliflower with cheddar cheese melted on top, or raw with thousand isle dressing : )

Me:  F-7, (good memories!!) I’m probably doing something wrong, but I have not had a cauliflower that I thought, “Hmm, that was good!”  Never have, lol.   I basically ate mac and cheese and corn for dinner every night as a child and am now retraining my taste buds with real food (my mom tried, but I was stubborn and picky).  I really LOVE lots of veggies now, but cauliflower is NOT one of them!

Dear Hubby:  Is this in any way directed towards me?

Me:  No worries hun, I have broken off all ties with my would be paramour, Cauliflower… it didn’t work out…you should be elated! 😉