Journal Entry from January 22, 2013:
The other day, I got this sudden impulse to text my younger sister (by 10 years), Sierra, who lives a few hours away in the Sunshine State of Florida. What I suddenly needed to remind her was this:
Reminder: You are fearfully and Wonderfully made! Your soul knows that full well. (Paraphrase of Psalm 139:14)
The actual verse reads:
Psalms 139:14 :
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
Just after sending it to her, I got this feeling in my soul (which, I believe was intensified, because I was fasting at the time) that I also needed to be “reminded” of this truth. Especially since I have recently felt quite unlovely, and down on myself because of unwanted weight gain and seemingly no time to re-mediate the problem (we are coming off of the season we are allowed to be festively plump, are we not?!).
Anyway, I read the verse again to myself . . . FOR myself, and this time I pondered, “Why is this verse Sooo powerful?? . . . What makes it what it is?”
Afterall, we call many things wonderful and we praise God, and know things in our own souls independent of one another, and it means something for sure; but nothing quite so powerful and captivating as what this verse speaks to our hearts when orchestrated and arranged in such a way as this.
I looked at it again, and this time, the word, “fearfully” lept off the page at me so fiercely, it was obvious that THIS word was the defining aspect of this verse’s Power. I also realized just then, that I did not completely understand what “fearfully” meant in this context, which surely added to its wonder. I didn’t know what it meant, per se, but I KNEW it is what made the verse Powerful!
So, what came next should be quite obvious to those as enamored of words and their meanings as I, a few quick Google searches to discover what this meant and how then would it apply to my life. Not to drag out all the gory details of that search, I will share with you the one that in the end made all the difference for me that day, and I suspect many days to come. The key phrase I used was, “define fearfully made,” which led me to a beautiful blog post by Micki Magee at completelydevoted entitled appropriately, “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made,” which went into her understanding of this verse, also including the definition, which is what I was searching for (thank ya for doing the digging, I thought 😉 ).
She found a simple definition of the word “fearfully,” as it applies in this context in Webster’s as the 3rd entry, which read: “full of awe or reverence.” She then goes on to say, and I will quote, as I think she says it quite beautifully:
These are words describing how God made us. He made us with awe and reverence! (Reverence: a feeling of or attitude of deep respect.) . . .
. . . and this is the part I especially LOVE!! :
He wasn’t goofing around with crayons ladies. he had a reason for making each of us, did it with care (awe!), and loves, even respects, the result. … So who are we to disrespect that?
The whole post moved me to tears, to realize, to recognize that God made me the way I am, artistically . . . without ANY fault in his eyes. Not saying, I don’t have any faults, just stating that I wasn’t made with any… including my body type. God did NOT make a mistake when he created me!
This was honestly quite shocking for me to take in at first, as I had started to believe this in a subtle way, ever since my “little” sister started to creep up on me and finally surpass me in height (even though her dad is actually shorter than my dad… what a massive flip-flop God… I mean, how uncool, unfair, inappropriate, I once thought… and, I’m sure I’m the ONLY one who has ever envied her sister, right?! LOL).
God created me to be who I am – the way I am, and I should be thankful He placed Sooo much care and emphasis on the making of me, that my end result would garner His respect and awe, just as a work of art moves it’s creator.
He made me unique, with an extra brush stroke here and a fine pencil lining there, that makes me infinitely different from ANY of His other works. And sometimes, I’m sure He may edit “this” work He started in me, when He finds it fading or running a little in the wrong direction. He then sets it just to His liking again, which in turn, will make “this” creation a little more likable to His other creations, as well (added bonus! Haha).
And, when He is finished with me, as I’m sure He’s not done just yet (thankfully), I hope He steps back and smiles – a look of satisfaction that only a completed work brings!
Thank You Lord, for making me Fearfully and Wonderfully!! I know I have my flaws and many imperfections, but You are smoothing some of them out one day at a time, and using others as abstract art, not meant to be altered, a “beautiful mess,” if you will . . . perhaps, as somewhat of a centerpiece with which to shine Your Glory through me. I am so grateful for Your ever present work in me, and I pray that I continue to grow in You and closer to You this year!!
Be BLESSED my Friends!!!